Thursday, September 09, 2004

I thought what she did for the past few weeks were bad, but this evening found out something worse.

i really can't believe a mother would frame her own daughter, try to avoid letting her own daughter to meet her grandmother (which is her own mother).


Evening reached home, saw aunt ( my mum's sis) at our house, Mum cooked laska for family, knowing i cant't eat spicy food. My brother had to call me to tell me to buy my own dinner.While eating my takeaway food in the kitchen, aunt came over and asked why I didn't visit grandma's house awhen the rest of family did go a few weks ago.

"Huh?" i was shocked what made her think that. It was my mum who dun wish to see me go. I recalled that day, i heard mum telling father and bro that they are going to grandma's house, but she didn't tell me, as she had start to gave me her " black face" look as she had demanded more $ from me and i did not increase the monthly allowance ( how to give when i did not get pay increase?).

Knowing her pattern that she will mentioned that I'm thick-skin to tag along when she never ask, or will mention to the rest that it was i who don't want to go , i purposely asked my bro in front of her that If I had to go. My bro replied " it's better that you don't go"
And they all left without asking me.....

Darn! Bet she was telling lies to relatives that i don't want to go, didn't respect elders.

Aunt mentioned how disappointed my grandma was, as they were celebrateing her b-day together with my cousin's birthday that day. She said that grandma didn't want to cut cake and was waiting for me, tried to called me but her vison was blurred. And she even asked left a slice of ice-cream cake for my parents to take home to give me.

"huh? Cake? i dunno there was". i was shocked. Aunt was also in disbelief when I confirmed that i never ate nor seen the slice.
(later saw in the video that my sis took that day, which showed there was really a cake, so Aunt can't be lying)

I was hurt. Not hurt that i didn't get to eat the cake, hurt by i know what my mum did -- took home the cake, hid it, from me, yet told them i did eat it.

What shocked me more was that aunt told me that grandma's health was deteriorating. she starts having headaches every now and then, getting dizzy and had been seeing docs more often. she advised me to ignore whatever my mum said to me next time and go visit my grandma as she seems to have only a few more years....

To think my mum did not even let me know anything all this, she scolded me everyday, makes things difficult for me, just over money matters. I dunno why all of a sudden she start making trouble ober this. She really can't expect me to give her half of what i get as i had to pay for my bills and school fees. I had already got a pay cut ever since i switched job from public to private sector last year. i am earning abt hundreds less a month, yet I never deduct my allowance for her .

Two years ago, i will give her more $ in august as i gotten pay increase of a hundred in Aug. But now, this new job only give pay increase at every Jan, and i only got a meagre $10+ pro-rated increment in jan . How can i give her hundred dollars more when i don have it?!!!!! Till now she would not believe the pay i am getting now is abt the same as my starting pay as my 1st job. Initially , i thought she was having menopause, so try to bear with it. But she is really horrible, start to say taht whatever i eat cost $. morning, when i make half a pack of Milo, she start nagging that that milo cost $. It's not she don't have $. My Dad's working, gave half of his pay and she's working too.

She knows that Grandma her own mother dotes on me, yet she never tell me abt what's happening to her.....

Come to think of it, it's very ironic that i can't communicate well with grabdma, as i don't how to speak dialect well, yet grandma loves me more than her. on my 21st birthday. It's usually the custom where parents to give the child a golden key, yet i received a gold pendant from grandma, present from aunt, yet not even a birthday wish from parents. When she saw my presents from friends, she scorned "What's so great abt birthday!"

Till now, I could remember what she had said years ago that 'raising kids is for the kids to give her money to support her when they're older'. So that means she raised us is because of the money that children will have to give her, not becos she love us.....

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