Saturday, May 21, 2005
遗憾与偶遇
Was thinking of posting this “random thought” that came across my mind on another day. But something happened in the evening which reminded me that I better post abt it now .
Something happened which really made me thought abt the topic: “Death”.
Last year, after a visit to a geomancer whom an ex-colleague had recommended, I told my ex-colleague that the geomancer said if I had survived a major illness in my 50s, I will live up to 80s. I had told her that I wasn’t that afraid, as to have a chance to live in the world for half a century, is enough for me.
“What if he said that you will live until yr 30s, will you be worried now?” She asked.
I thought about it and mentioned that it might affect me a little, but I will take a “wait and see” approach, while at the same time, I think I will work even harder, to achieve my dreams, my wishes. It’d be kind of a motivation instead.
其实, 没有人会知道自己能活多久。谁敢肯定他明天依然会活在这世间？
I am well aware how serious my attacks can be, if it had prolonged in that state for too long. That’s why I spare no thought in spending more money on better quality materials used for making handmade cards for my friends. That’s why I want to try so many things now, while I still have the time and money. I'd rather spend the little extra money I have in learning things that I am interested in than keeping a lot of money in the bank that cannot be taken to the netherworld.
Something happened this week that made me wondered what would I do if I have only a few months to live...
Then I realized that I had already completed quite a few goals, or at least, had a chance to try on the things I wanna learn/do, even though after that, I realized that some aren’t suitable for me.
If I were to write this post yesterday, I’d have written that my regrets are:
-- had to leave those I love and had brought me joy , laughter and fun, though I had tried not to get too emotionally attached to anyone
-- not being able to further my studies
-- hadn’t got a chance to master a third language –preferably Japanese
-- Not knowing what happened to my 2nd ex whom I had lost contact with for abt a year.
Due to the encounter I had in the evening, I am gonna to rephrase the last point mentioned in “my regrets” list.
Was supposed to meet my gor for dinner to catch up on what’s happening in our lives. Since I was early, I was contemplating should I walked over to the newspapers stand to get a copy of a magazine when I saw a familiar figure in a familiar shirt walking past. It wasn’t that difficult to spot him, as for his height, he is taller than the average guys. Early this year, I had the feeling that I had gotten over him, but still wondered how he is getting on in his life. I am the sort who prefers to remain as friends after breakup, but he isn’t that type. I respect his decision, and think it was last May, after I gotten back something I need from him, I did not contact him after that.
For seconds, I had my reservations with going up to call him, but then I realized that 这种“偶遇”是很难得的，既然有这个机会，就别错过。So walked up to him, took a side glance at him, confirmed it’s him, then called his name. Think he was stunned for a moment, as he’d never seen me without my glasses (I only converted to wearing contacts lens last Dec).
He’s quite a nice guy lah, still gave me a big smile (now then I realised, he had never given me this type of smile the few times we met after the breakup last yr) and asked me the expected question of what I am doing at J8. I thought it will be quite an awkward situation, but we managed to have a quick chat until we stopped at the newspaper stand. Hai… that’s one thing I had always looked up to him --- to hold a conversation well at all sorts of situations. I was quite surprised that he enquired more abt my new job. When I had changed job in Feb, I had dropped him a sms to update him, and did wonder if he had received it, as there is a possibility of him upgrading his mobile phone and changed his number.
He’s quite a reserved person, and I think the reason we had gotten together was that I had somehow managed to break through the barriers he put up then. Hence, it’s rather surprising that he’s willing to reveal to me that he had just completed his Masters (which mean he had quitted his job last yr) and now looking for a job.
“Think the place I studied at was near to the department you used to work in NTU” he said. That really surprised me as well, for he still remembered the previous previous company I used to work at.
突然有个念头： 这一年多来，有时看到某些事物，经过一些地方，会不经意想起他。那他是否看到某些事物，经过一些地方， 也会不小心想起我。
Hmm, when we were together, I did heard him mentioning of getting an advance diploma in another major, though he had a degree. So it was rather something new to know that he had completed his masters……
His reaction upon hearing that I had been taking some classes (keke, dun wanna mention here), was rather similar to some of my friends, joking if I am rather free now. He even asked me what happened to my dancing (hip hop) lessons.
I only vaguely mentioned to him that I was taking hip-hop classes on one of the times we had met after our breakup, didn’t expect him to remembered that too.
我曾以为他蛮狠的，坚决不透露离开的原因。
看来， 也许他朋友说得对，他或许有苦衷……
Guessed the short conversation we had was sort of a closure for us. Even though till now I didn’t get him to confirm the reason (though I think I know why) of the breakup, but at least it’s nice to know he has been getting on fine. 至少从我们的谈话中,我知道我在他心里还占有一席之位......
(ref: 13/05/2004 post)
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~*Harmonie's Sentimental World --心情日记*~ 
