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Name: [Harmonie Wong]
Date of Birth: [17 Aug 1981]
Gender: [Female]
Location: [Singapore]
Email: [harmonie_wong@hotmail.com]
Description: [Not going to spend time here introducing myself. To my dear friends, relax, I didn't change my name to "Harmonie Wong". If you hadn't read my first entry, it's just a nick. However, there is a story behind. "Wong"was chosen because of family's history with the surname. As for "Harmonie", it's because of a numerology pairing with "Wong". You can read more abt it in my 1st entry. I know that the online world is not 100% secure, so won't be revealing too much. & my dear friends, rest assured that I'll not be mentioning yr real life names in this blog.]

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First Post
A Calories-burning Sunday
心碎了无痕
My Grandfather
Surprise
2004, 2005
Farewell Dinner
Out of Bound
遗憾与偶遇
Random Thoughts
May The Floss Be with You
Gotcha!
On Becoming "Mrs Lee"
谈“那年的情书”
Vexed & Charisma
Somehow a series....part 1
Part 2
Has it ever occurred to you?
The “二轮之庆”
The Taiwan Trip
Interviewing Li Sheng Jie

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Friday, October 07, 2005

Whooppeee! Had posted something that happened yesterday on my other blog. Check it out if you want.

Below are the other thoughts which I mentioned that are to be continued form the previous entry


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“让我对你说bye-bye”
---- 张惠妹 《Bad Boy》

“你没有想过我会说分手 也许太习惯我在你左右”
---- 卢巧音《至少走得比你早》




有没有察觉到,当我们知道一位女性朋友和男友分手了,我们通常会问 “她还好吧!”。因为通常都是男方先提出分手。也许男人较“那得起,放得下”。

可是,随着时代的改变,人们的教育水平提高了,女人也变得更强了。很多女性都有自己的事业。经济能力提高的当儿,要求自然也提高了。对于婚姻,少数会抱着“嫁鸡随鸡,嫁狗随狗”的信念。如果经过那么多年,男友还是处于在“原点”,女生会开始怀疑,自己应不应该再继续走下去,毕竟“以自己的条件,应该是可以找到更好的”。

因此,现代的女生学会鼓起勇气,提出分手…….


我曾问过一位男性朋友,”if there is a couple who have been dating since their secondary school days. And 10 years later, they are now working adults. Do you think the gal is materialistic if she decided to call off the relationship as her boyfriend’s educational level and salary are lower than hers?”

To my surprise, he doesn’t think so; he feels that it is a man’s responsibility to make a woman feel secured.

Hmmmm, a bit contradicting here. 女人变强了,但始终还可望有个“大男人”可依靠。


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“我允许了你 让爱的自由还给你”
-------- 郑中基《绝口不提!爱你》

“我给你最后的疼爱是手放开”
---------李圣杰《手放开》



如果女生提出分手时,男生并没有尝试挽回,淡然接受;
那是不是因为:
1) 他并没那么爱她
2) 他对这段感情已经累了
3) “面子”问题
4) 因为爱她,所以“手放开”,让她远走高飞


总觉得如果女生初次提出分手时,男生连原因都没去追问,那肯定有些“蹊跷”。
如果是因为面子问题而没设法去挽回,那我觉得他并没有那么爱她。
如果是因为他累了,那他也是没有那么爱她。

我认为:

如果两人经过了许多波折,但还没办法解决,因此女生提出分手,
或女生爱上了一个她认为会带给她更多的幸福的男人而提出分手,
那男生默默地接受才算是真正的“因为爱你就让你走” 。


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“没想到我们爱情的凶手 竟是习惯和时间 这两个朋友”
---------李圣杰《抓!爱情的凶手》

难免发现,两个恋人走在一起久了,会 tend to take each other for granted。
因为习惯对方在身旁,有些人甚至会不加理会对方所发的“牢骚”,因为他们以为爱人会永远在身边。
女人都很希望被呵护。如果男友不再像恋爱出气时那么关照她,常忽略她,那别怪女生开始问:“你跟我在一起,是因为习惯,还是爱?”。

忘了在哪儿读到,以上那句话,是男生最怕被问的。

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Comments:
I asked my boyfriend the last question before :"Am I with him because I love him.. or is it out of habit??" This problem always pops out when couples have been together for a period of time.

It's natural. In the end, I realise that I got into a habit of loving him =)and I enjoy my habit =P
 
Habit of being together and habit of being in love are different, me think :)
 
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