Friday, October 28, 2005
Detached and Unattached
Describe yr status:
Single/married/divorced
These are the choices you often see when filling up forms.
So what does
single mean?
Single can actually be further classified into
1) Single as in you are not married. Even though you are in a relationship, so you still can be considered as single.
2) Single as in you are never attached before
3) single as in you had been in a relationship but now “detached”
Yeah, I remembered sometime last year, a friend of mine mentioned that we should state our status as
detached, especially when we had just broken up from our bfs then.
According to dictionary, “Detach” means: separate or remove something from something else that it is connected to.
So things can be detached from things, human can also be detached from other human too, right?
If there is such a term call “attached”, why can’t we include the term “detached” when describing our status too?
On the other hand, I do feel that it seems slightly defensive if you are telling others you are detached rather than single. It’s is like implying “ 我不是没有人要。” as you are telling others “我曾经被人爱过”.
Hmmm above are just some silly thoughts of mine. Somehow the term “detached” came into my mind recently after seeing a few friends “detaching” from their LTRs.....
I could almost strangle my ZW xiaodi for asking me that question on that Monday . Actually what he asked was pretty harmless, just that so many people had been asking abt it since last year, that make me feel so “grrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhh”.
Recently, even close friends had started asking me that question and that really made me wonder did I commit some crime by not getting involved in any relationship after being “detached” for almost 2 years.
Ok ok ok, the part abt strangling and Ggrrrhhhhhhhh are exaggerated.
However, it is really starting to get on my nerves that my close friends, my gor even had ideas to match make me with their friends!
Realised I had not state clearly what “that question” refers to. Later Sips gonna complain that my entries getting cheem liao. (会 cheem meh?)
Well, it’s just that my friends had been asking questions of this sort:
怎么样了呀？
怎么久了，还单身啊？
For those who do not know much abt my past, I won't blame them if they asked questions like that. But what I am surprised is that my close friends had seen the hurt I had been through and yet expect me to get involved in another relationship now.
As expected, a couple of my friends wrote "祝你早日找到你的白马王子." on greeting cards even when I had warned them not to write such things.
Just like the lyrics of 眼泪 described : 爱上你是最快乐的事, 却又换来最痛苦的悲 , I was left shattered when the relationship ended. So much that I took more than a year to be fully recovered from the hearbreak.
就像是被摔坏的瓷杯，虽然摔破的手把已被粘接回，
可是还留下一道裂痕。
杯子虽然可以使用，但是使用者得很小心地捧着它，
以免它再次断裂... ...
我并不认为自己很挑剔，我向往个平凡的生活。
男人太有钱，太受欢迎，反而会令我更不安。
总之，我现在还处于“unattached mode” 是因为还没遇到一个我认为懂得如何小心捧着杯子，不让它再摔坏或破碎的人。
如果算命的结果是准的 （不是说我相信）， 我在28岁才会出嫁。
看到周围的朋友们都很难维持多年的感情， 如果我现在 attached 的话，我没有信心这段感情会维持那么久，毕竟现在离我28岁生日还有好几年的时间。
不要问我为什么，我有个很强烈的感觉，我的下一段恋情会在我26岁左右才开始。
至于那“未来丈夫”， 也许现在已出现在我生命里，但我还不知道他是谁。
所以，my dear friends, 等我过了26岁, 还处于 “unattached mode" 时, 你们才来"烦" 我， 好吗？ =P
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~*Harmonie's Sentimental World --心情日记*~ 
